Gladiator ii - a Review

Image Source: Paramount Pictures

Christ this movie was bad.

I love the first Gladiator. I often watched it when I was younger, especially because of its epic and equally immersive portrayal of Ancient Rome. However, the sequel to this Oscar Award-winning film is anything, but. One of my biggest pet peeves is watching a bad movie, and my viewing experience of Gladiator II was irritating. I will admit, that I did not enter this film with the highest of excitement, yet here I am; excited to tell you why I hated it. Here are all my issues with Gladiator II.

The CGI stood out like a sore thumb. The effects of the opening battle scene were so atrociously fake, and the oversaturated colors took me out of the action. I felt like the Ben-Hur (1959) battleship scene was way cooler, realistic, and jarring. Everything about the opening scene was so… still. I also felt like the birds in Lucilla’s garden were distracting and too whimsical for me. Every time we ventured into her quarters, there were always opalescent birds zipping by. It almost felt too copy and paste. Also, I’m sorry to everyone who loved it, but I did not care for the battleship scene in the Colosseum. I was looking forward to it, but when I got to that part, I was already beginning to zone out. The sharks were obviously not historically accurate and the little pop-up islands with the cut-out palm trees looked so dumb. Gladiator I captured the opulence of the Roman Empire. Everything looked rich and heavy, which added to the sense of ridiculous glamour this period heralded. However, Gladiator II was flat and the candy-like coloring made it tacky with the absence of good lighting to help dramatize. Everything looked a bit too crowded for my taste and even the costumes looked thin in material.

In terms of acting, everyone did their job according to the script. I really don’t have much to complain about regarding anyone's performance, given they were using the material given to them. All except the main star, Paul Mescal. There’s something about Paul Mescal that I don’t already like. I didn’t enter with him as my favorite actor, let alone my first pick for the role of Lucius. Was I crazy, but was the intonation of Mescal’s voice flat the entire film? Even when yelling, it wasn’t the tone of his voice, just the volume of which he spoke that rose. I hardly saw any emotion in his stony face, which could be due to the high toll that is to play Russell Crowe’s Maximus’ son. Maybe he was trying too hard to play it cool and manly, but it came out as bland. I was not sold on his grief for his wife either. He barely showed any grief and his dream sequences of her death that were meant to parallel Maximus’ dreams of his wife and his (other) son felt yet again ... emotionless. Perhaps I need to see Paul Mescal in different projects. I liked him in Normal People, but Gladiator II was not his strongest performance. Though he may have the Roman nose, he had none of the Roman prowess. You can’t put a cardigan-wearing softcore indie boy in a dramatic action film, it just doesn’t work.

Now, my biggest qualm with this movie is the story. It was all over the place and was not convincing enough for me. Character motivations such as Paul Mescal’s were weak. There wasn’t a strong enough reason for him to hate Pedro Pascal's character. Did Acacius personally fire the arrow at Arishat? No. It’s a freaking battle, for Christ's sake. Maybe next time you bring your wife to battle, give her better armor and tell her not to stand on the high ground where she can be an easy target.

I felt that Geta and Caracalla were just…okay. For such crazy-looking, syphilis-struck characters, that was a shame. Truly, what was so evil about them? They wanted to party and be on a throne, but they weren’t truly menacing enough.

Denzel Washington’s Macrinus was another character that bumped me. Going into this movie, I thought he was going to be the emperor or Lucilla’s new husband. However, his background of being an ex-gladiator who is now a wealthy free man was a weak role to give to an actor like Denzel. There weren't equal parts of him working with Lucius and being conniving. There wasn’t any good setup for Macrinus to be the actual antagonist. They could have gone either one of two ways; either he becomes a great mentor to Lucius and potentially a father figure (making his betrayal and true motivations more dramatic), or Macrinus could have gone the Littlefinger route à la Game of Thrones and from the get-go make it clear that he is a sneaky character and should not be trusted. His attempts to overthrow the “royal” family felt suddenly written in and needed more breadcrumbs.

What I really hate in movies is when prominent female characters are only significant due to their relations to men. Uh-oh, feminist alert wee-woo-wee-woo! Lucilla is literally the daughter of Marcus Aurelius. Though I am not too sure on how historically accurate it would be for her to ascend to the seat of power, she could have still been influential to the Senate and still be a player in the game in that sense. The entire time I was watching the movie, she was so irritating to me. What do you mean Maximus dies to help ensure your son’s safety and while his dead body is still warm you send Lucius on a horse to God knows where? You are the most powerful woman in Rome! Put your foot down and anyone who tries to take your son’s birthright away, squash them. If you’re gonna be a royal figure, assert some dominance. Why are you letting those with lower power tell you what to do? She should have pulled a Cersei, and Cersei’s children weren’t even legitimate! Honestly, when she got shot with the arrow, I was like, “Hell yeah, she has been messy and sloppy from the get-go.” She stupidly sent her son away, lost track of him (embarrassing), and all she does is walk around and ponder and talk about her father, her husband, and her son. UGH! Who are you, girl? What do you do?

Now that I have totally laid low this film with my review, I will say that there is a universe in which Sophie would have found Gladiator II somewhat palatable. How is that possible? Editing. The battle scene should not have been the opener to the movie. Instead, we should have met the royal family first. See Emperors Geta and Caracalla and how terrible their reign is, which the film did not show at all. To me, they were two frat boys partying, not necessarily malevolent. So, amp up the cruelty of the twins, more so on Geta, and show a manipulative side that he exercises on his weaker brother. Then, we can meet Lucilla, who sees the corruption in her father’s empire and she can say some mysterious line about her “missing son” and then BOOM– we meet Paul Mescal on the battlefront. Then we can leave that scene as it is, however, it should be Acacius who shoots the deadly arrow at Arishat. This will make the reveal more impactful when Acacius goes back to Rome and we learn he is Lucilla’s husband. The rest of the movie can commence with how it is. Truly, the beginning was so messy and ill-placed, but these changes can make it better. I would also like to mention that possibly giving Lucius gladiator friends would benefit his character. Lucius convinced people way too easily in the movie with little to no relations to the gladiators or soldiers he spoke over. Don’t try to convince me that some poetry is going to sway the minds of sweaty Roman men. The sequencing in this movie felt sloppy, but I think different scene arrangements could make this movie somewhat watchable.

I know a lot of people will not like my review, but I was honestly surprised at how much people actually enjoyed it. However, that is the beauty of art. Some people thought it was great, and Paul Mescal was hot, while the real intellectuals were in the theater on the opposite side of the hall, holding space for Defying Gravity.